There comes a time in our lives where, if we are lucky, we question ourselves; question our own motives and our reasons for existence. This doesn’t mean that we are jaded, and if we we think of ourselves in such a way then maybe it is actually a good thing? If we don’t question these things, then I would humbly suggest that we are not truly living. Knowing one’s place in the world is perhaps one of the greatest mysteries of life, yet it probably doesn’t have to be.
Perhaps it is from the wisdom of age that I have come to realize that life is not an appointment, nor is it a goal? Life is not an “achievement” or any one specific event. Life is a process of learning that is ever continuous and evolving. There is no perfect life, for perfection is subjective. What is right for one may be completely wrong for another. Life is a constant flow of energy, and even in death that energy doesn’t subside, it merely changes from one form of existence to another.
People come and go from our lives in order that we may have learning experiences. Our path and their path are quite different. At some points, our paths may cross and they may even run parallel to one another for a short period of time (even 50 years is but a bat of an eye in the realm of time and space), but eventually we part. This is an inevitable part of existence. Your soul and my soul may touch each other deeply and even have connections from previous lives, but we may not stay together, we must not. For in doing so, in clinging to another when the time has come to move on, we hold their soul back and keep them from continuing their journey and moving on to their next life lessons. Even more cruelly, we do the same thing to ourselves.
Knowing when to part ways is possibly the hardest part of the human condition. Our human form is encumbered with emotions that our soul does not necessarily get bogged down with. As humans, we want to be part of something. We find ourselves wishing for others to bring us happiness and quiet our fears. The fact is that our souls already know calm and quiet. Turning inward is the only true way to find peace and happiness, it will not come from beyond and outside of our own self. Many people go through life unable to take a true look at themselves and never fully learn that love begins with self.
This does not mean, by any means, that we think of ourselves as infallible or that we have learned every lesson. That is completely impossible. Humans are flawed. Do not be insulted that I say so. While it is true that we are flawed, it is also true that there is much beauty in imperfection and that indeed “perfection lies in the imperfection”. It is our imperfections that make us individuals and unique. Our ability to accept these imperfections and move on, learn lessons and assimilate the best from all lessons is what makes us successful human beings.
So when is it time to move on? I would say that for me, this is a lesson that I have been working on learning, diligently, for the past three years of my existence. After staying in two failing relationships that lasted over 6 and 7 years, respectively, the Universe saw fit to teach me some lessons in how to move on. Mind you, a person must be open to these lessons, or the Universe will continue to throw it at you over and over until you do. At some point, it may get quite painful for you. I assure you that when you finally “get it”, you will have a feeling of calm wash over you as the realization hits home. That’s when you’ll know what is right.
For me, the realizations often hit me as what I like to describe as ‘having an epiphany’. It’s like a bolt of thunder audible to only my own ears, something people often refer to as that “ah-ha moment”. When that inner voice says to you, “Why are you here? This IS NOT where you want to be is it?” and you can stand and say, “No…in fact it isn’t, let’s go find out where I DO want to be”, that is when you’ll know it is time to move on. You’ll know it is the right decision when you feel relieved the instant you have moved on in your heart and with your feet. Whether it is a job you hate, a home you no longer find joy in, or a dinner conversation with someone that you suddenly realize being around only makes you feel stressed and unhappy…. when there is no joy to be found, it is time to move on.