I can still smell your perfume lingering in the air and on my jacket. I can still feel your lips on mine and as I sit here I realize that my fingers are no longer cold and I am actually warm all over. To me, you’re beautiful, lovely and everything I could ever want in a friend and a love. I honestly feel comfortable with you so completely. I can slide my arms around you in line at the counter and you turn and kiss my cheek….so naturally, so affectionately and make me feel so wanted. It just feels “right” and I wonder if you feel it too? I think that you do. The way you look at me makes me light-up inside. I always wanted someone to look at me the way you do and now here you are … and it’s so much more.
Today we talked about our differences and the things we have in common. We’ve talked about the things that we know we’ll need to work on and we’ve talked so much about dreams and goals, hopes and fears. I told you that I felt like I can tell you anything. You told me that I could. You make me feel safe. My heart feels safe with you. I’m smelling my coat again right now….God, you smell so good. You hair, your smile, you voice….everything about you…the way you look away from me when I say something that embarrasses you….I’m completely intoxicated with you.
Lust? Yes, I definitely have a lust for you. The things I think about doing to you and with you would make a grown man blush … but I also think about courting you, as you deserve. I wish I wasn’t broke right now, but it won’t last long. I worked my ass off to earn the money to get back here and now I’ll have to work my ass off some more in order to get ahead again. Won’t take me long. You’re going to be treated like you deserve and that’s always been my intention. I want you for the long haul. I want you forever. I told you that I was playing for keeps this time and I mean it.
You’re a feisty lil’ filly and I’ve always known that. I love it. I get frustrated sometimes, but I’m a MUCH better person at being able to talk about it and explain it now. So instead of getting mad, I can talk to you and tell you how I feel. I think we’ll get better and better at talking about our feelings. I know that we’ll get out of this whatever we put in. I will give you my all. I will give you 100% and everything I have to give. Just know and believe me that when I tell you that I love you, I truly do … with every ounce of love that I have to give.
I accept your little quirks, your OCD, your high energy that keeps you preoccupied and easily distracted. Let me be what grounds you. Let me be your shoulder and your rock and I will always be here for you. Always be honest with me, tell me everything, let me into your world and know that I’m not going to judge you ever. I love you completely and unconditionally. Yes, I’ll get my feelings hurt sometimes. Yes, I’ll get annoyed and irritated sometimes. This is normal and I’m human, but I will never not love you through all those times and those moments. At the end of the day, I’m always going to love you and I am ALWAYS going to want to be with you.
I’m smelling your perfume again. Just like I told you, my fingers are warm now. I’m not cold at all…