Posts Tagged With: lesbian

Butch On The Loose!

Nothing but open roads to explore.

Nothing but open roads to explore!

I’m pretty sure that by now, you all have decided that I am a little crazy. If you haven’t, then I have news for you … YOU are a little crazy. 😉

So earlier this week I was excited about the prospect of going back to Missouri and building a cabin. I have reconsidered for several reasons and I can’t tell you all of it but I’m going to attempt to try to explain myself as much as I can. First of all, I think I made the decision too quickly. I was down and out at the time, at the end of a relationship that brought me to FL when I didn’t really wanna be here and I was just looking for a way to get out of this state as soon as I could. The first thought I had was to go back to where I was before the relationship started. It seemed reasonable to me at the time. After thinking it over, however; I’m convinced that I am learning more about myself every single day and going to a place with four walls is probably not what I am supposed to do for me.

As much as I hate to admit it, my mother knew me pretty well. She told me once that she had dated a guy before my dad who was in the military. She’d often thought that if she’d met him her life would’ve been very different – she’d have traveled the world and seen places that she’d never see. She said, “… don’t get me wrong, I love your father, but I have often wondered about the choices of my life and where they’ve led me.”  Then she studied me from across the table and said, “You’re like me. You also have the wanderlust.” Sigh….yes, I do and it is a curse.

Taking all this into consideration and realizing that I do indeed have a lust for travel and exploring life, settling down doesn’t really seem to be in my cards. I’ve decided why fight it? I have a chance that most people will never have in their entire life. I can go anywhere and do whatever I want.

Right now, I am continuing work on a character from one of my books that is already out. I can’t say much about the new project, but it is exciting and this character is going to moving around a lot and doing a lot of different things. I thought to myself, ‘why not go do those things myself and write about all of it first hand?” Not to mention that I can take the opportunity to meet with friends and fans all along the way, right?

I’m not one of those people who has an endless wallet by any means, so I’ll be traveling on the cheap. “Cheap” meaning  in ways that include boondocking and working from truck stops. (Boondocking is an RV term for sleeping in parking lots. McDonald’s, Pilot, Flying J and Walmart all allow boondocking for free and all of them except Walmart have free wifi, unless you are lucky enough to find a Walmart with a McDonald’s inside.) Cheap in a way that means going without electricity and cooking by fire at times, by gas camp stove and eating out of cans from time to time. Cheap in ways that means walking all around the restaurant for an outlet to charge your cell phone and just ordering a cup of coffee while your phone charges. It’s all good. I’ve been in training for all of that these past few months. I’m ready to go to the cheap living Olympics! If cheap living is a competition, then I am winning!

This is your official invitation to follow me on my adventures through my blog and read about the places through my characters – more details will be forthcoming on all that very soon! You’ve all been following me along on adventures for a very long time, but now the rules are changing and I am changing playgrounds completely. I’m up for meeting some of you and enjoying some adventures out on the open road.

I have some things to get in order here before I leave. First of all, I need some new tires ($750 minimum) and I’m going to have to limp along while I get two at a time most likely. I have to fix my oil pan leak ($30 or so), I need some miscellaneous things to fix my RV like a window replaced ($40), fixing a water leak from toilet pressure valve ($20), and coating the roof with a stop leak seal ($20). I really need you guys to keep reading! Each time the ads below are viewed, I earn a little. Each time you borrow one of my books on Kindle, I earn a little. When you buy a paperback or e-book I earn a few bucks. I appreciate each and every one of you more than you know! Because you read my stories and books, I get to eat. I know what it’s like not to eat and if you don’t think I do, go back and read a few blogs! If you really like my stories, you can help me a great deal by passing on the links to my blog or my books to friends. For Christmas consider buying one of my books and giving it as a gift. Okay, I’m done with the advertising. 🙂

The plan I have right now is leave where I am around the end of December or first week of January and head towards Atlanta, GA. This is the hometown of my character I am working on and I look forward to spending some time in Sam’s hometown and just gelling with the city. If any of you are in the Atlanta area, I’d love to meet you and for you to show me things in your city that you think I just can’t miss while I am there. I expect to travel Northward as the weather gets warmer and would like to see about hitting parts of the East coast. If you have adventures there that you’d like to introduce me to, especially if they can be written about in story lines, then by all means send me a comment or an email and let me know! I’ll consider it all. As the weather gets cooler in the fall, I’ll swing out West most likely and make my way to warmer places by winter of 2013 again.

The places will come to me as I decide to move further down the road. For now, all I know is that I will start working my way towards GA within the next 3 weeks. Buy my books and help me keep trucking! 🙂


Click image to be taken to my Amazon author page and see books available for purchase or to be borrowed!

Categories: equal rights, erotica, Free Books, gay lesbian, lesbian, life lessons, self-help | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Coming Out Early, Coming To Terms Late, Coming Full Circle Finally

Today is National Coming Out Day! Congratulations to those of you who like myself, have been out for many years. You have paved the way for those who will come out today!

To those of you who are just out or coming out now, congratulations to you as well! This is a very serious and personal decision. Only you can decide if this is something that you want to do. Some of you will come out to strangers but not to family. Some will come out at work but not to others. Some of you will come out to family only. Many people come out in stages and others jump out of that closet with a vengeance. My friend, Lisa, told me many years, “Dawn (my given name), you didn’t just come out of the closet, you jumped out of the whole fucking house!”

My own story was that I was very closeted in early years. I moved away from home when I was 19 and came to Florida on my own. I was not really out yet but working towards it. My family put their home up for sale and sold a lot of stuff and actually followed me to Florida. I was not very happy about this at all!!

As it turned-out, when my parents had moved, they had neglected to clean out the closet that had been in my room very well. I had forgotten about a journal that I had kept…and kept hidden in my closet. (appropriate place eh?) The people who moved into the house had school aged kids and they found it. They took it to school  – the same school in the small town that I had attended. Pretty soon, I received a letter in the mail from the person who used to call herself my best friend.

The letter explained that the whole town now knew and it would be wise if I probably never came back there. She made it clear that she didn’t really want to talk to me anymore. Of course, I was mortified and it became a race –  either ME telling my parents or someone from the hometown telling them. I sat my mother down and I told her. Now, you must understand that my mother and I had a very bad relationship as it was. She had been my abuser and tormentor in so many ways growing up. Now I had to face her in terror and tell her what I was. (I still felt very abnormal and often referred to myself as a mistake and a monster)

Things did not go well and to make a very long story short, my parents and I didn’t speak to each other for about two years. I moved AGAIN, to another city in Florida so that I could have space, privacy and be myself. Oh what a process it was! My life has been full of confusion and a trail of bad decisions, all of which I had a hard time owning up to. It was easy to blame everything on how unfair my own life had been.

In the end, things worked out for me. It took me many, many years to understand how to come to terms with the fact that I always had the ability to be me. I never owed anyone any explanations or apologies. More importantly, there were never any reasons for me to have anger, regrets or pain over this.

To those of you who are concerned with what others think of you now, I want to tell you that you are special. You are unique and wondrous just as you are. There is someone out there for you, even if you think there is not. You are not alone and you never will be if you don’t want to be.

Will this road be easy? No. Certainly not. Being GLBTQ is very difficult. You are not going to have things easy when it comes to fitting in or being respected. You will work harder to be equal and when you love someone, you will have to work harder to stay with that person. Being respected as a couple in the eyes of society is not simple but it IS getting better. I used to harbor much resentment over these things, as well as other things from my childhood and what my parents put me through.

Here is what I have come to learn:

The moment that you accept that all suffering, pain, tears, heartbreak, conflict, loss and grief have been to make you strong enough for the path that God (insert Universe if you are not Christian, for to me it is all the same) has in store for you, everything becomes clearer. Instead of being angry, feeling cheated and unfortunate, you begin to view things from the opposite direction. It suddenly becomes easy to let these things go and look to the future, eagerly awaiting the good things we’ve been training for. Suddenly you realize that THIS IS your purpose! THEN God, can move in you. Peace is the domain of God. When we truly feel peace inside of ourselves then we know that we are right in the center of what he wants for us. This begins with acceptance of your place and your life lessons. You are always okay just as you are, don’t let anyone tell you that you are not worthy or that something is wrong with you. You were born with purpose from the moment you took your first breath, you had a destiny. You should be proud of all that you are. God and the universe are not ashamed of you in any way, so never be ashamed of yourself.

I Peter 5:7 – “God’s presence in our life is our sustaining peace.”

If you are coming out today, know that you are not alone in this world. You now have a support system, thanks to the internet, that I did not have 26 years ago. There are suicide hotlines for you, via the Trevor Project – 1-800-273- TALK (1-800- 273-8255). There are people who are part of that project who are signed-up to help listen and guide you. My facebook page is and you will notice that my photo has the “Talk To Me” logo from the Trevor Project. I’m here as a mentor and guide for anyone who feels that they have no where to turn. Just as it says, you can talk to me.

Coming out is normally not easy. It can be traumatic but it can also be freeing. In the end, my story has been happy. You need to know that it is worth it. I did eventually reconcile with my family before my parents passed away. I am now free to be me and I don’t hide in a closet, in fear. I have someone in my life that I adore. I’m free to follow my dreams and my heart. So can you. There will be pain and grief along the way and this is the case with any life. Remember that this is simply to prepare you for the joy and the path you are meant to follow. Consider it training and keep it all in perspective. Know that you aren’t alone. Pick that phone up if you need it.

God bless,


PS: That friend who wrote me the letter, contacted me YEARS later on Facebook and apologized. She admitted to being a stupid teenager and that life had taught her lessons since then as well. We are friends again, all these years later. Things CAN end well! Let them!

Categories: abuse, child abuse, death, equal rights, gay lesbian, lesbian, life lessons, love | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I wanted to reblog this for one main reason. I agree. I can’t stand it that the media forces women to think that they should look like Barbie. I prefer a gal with some curves, personally. 😉 My name is Jesse, and I approve this message!

Vulnerable Verbiage

thoroughly enjoying playing catch up with blogs and news….and termites crawling under my skin. not really…just the feeling this world is putting me under.
i’m literally getting sick and constantly reminded why i have to take a break 😛 kim kardashian is a full-figured heifer at a size 2?

View original post 290 more words

Categories: erotica, gay lesbian, lesbian, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Butch Sexology II About to Launch- Do You Want Your Business In It?

Skye Isono, model and aspiring actress. Skye will be the star on the cover of Butch Sexology II – The REALLY Naughty Stuff!

Hello everyone! I have an interesting proposition for you. In my new book, which is pretty much complete, I am going to offer “product placement” within the stories. If you have a business, a product, a website, a place of business or anything that you’d like to advertise in my book for ABSOLUTELY FREE, then leave a comment below on how you can either give me a link back to my books, advertise for me or whatever you can dream up!

I’m not talking about a list of links in the back of the book! I’m talking about actually writing you into the story somewhere, so that you are 100% guaranteed that anyone who reads the book is going to see you. If they are reading on Kindle, they can click right over to you from the book! How great is that for your business??

You’re links will be LIVE in my Kindle version. This is a unique way to market your products without having to spend any advertising dollars. There is virtually no risk to you at all. Pitch me your idea and sell me on your product, service or whatever! I can’t add ALL people’s stuff, so you’ll have to really sell me on your ideas. Maybe I get a free product or something. Maybe you give me a permanent link on your site. After all, you’re going to be in my book FOREVER!

How many people are going to see this? Well, the FIRST book has only been out for 90 days and has been downloaded and sold to 1175 people! I fully expect the follow-up book to outsell the first. I expect sales to be well over 7000 copies in the first year alone.

The photo shoot is happening in Texas this week for the cover art. I’m so excited! Skye Isono is a great model and this cover is going to have a butch, a femme and a motorcycle! This is a combination for HOTNESS! I guarantee that this book is going to make the last one look entirely too tame.

Would you like to get a free autographed copy of the book when it comes out? Follow me on Twitter for a chance to win! Look to the left for the link to my Twitter account! I’ll be choosing one person a week for the first four weeks after the book launches, to get a free autographed copy! Tweet me! RT me! Who wants that book? 😉

Categories: equal rights, erotica, Free Books, gay lesbian, lesbian, love | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I Wrote Your Name On A Balloon

Have you ever been at someone’s side as they died? Have you watched the breath escape their body and hear the rattle as their body shudders to a halt? I have. I know death and know the things that people speak about in their last moments. I remember hearing the stories of her youth, watching the tears well in her eyes remembering an old dog she had as a child. Her memories, good and bad, were everything to her at that time, as her long life was drawing to a close.

The lessons that I’ve learned in my life are not the same as you will learn because our purposes here are different. I think all souls are beautiful but I don’t think all people are. Sometimes I’m amazed at people’s inability to see the world outside of themselves. Sometimes I am even more amazed when they have convinced themselves that they do.

Here is what I know. My past experiences have made me who I am today. Every thought and every decision I make are based on the experiences in my life that I have been through, good or bad. True, I have choices, but my choices are a product of the things I have learned to be true. My past IS my truth. I owe the past a debt for teaching me, for bringing me here to where I stand now. Am I perfect? Certainly not and I have never professed to be so. I’m human. I was made to make mistakes. I’m beautiful in my constant state of imperfection and I’m okay with me.

Do I over react? Sometimes I do and sometimes I have been the voice of reason in the lives of other people. I suppose it is a trade-off?

What have I learned most recently? To honor my truth. As I said, my past IS my truth. I don’t have to live in the past in order to honor it. I need to pay attention to what I have learned, in order to honor myself … and in doing so, I honor my past as well as my present and my future. Time is not a straight line. Neither am I.

Here is what I promise to honor in my future; the truths I need to uphold in my life:


  1. I will never again date anyone who does not openly identify as lesbian and is proud of that fact. I feel that this is important to the cause of gay rights, it is important to the gay youth who need positive role models, it is important to the people in the closet who need that reassurance that there are people out here who will embrace them and lastly … because it is important to change the world. I also feel it is something that I need to have in a healthy relationship.
  2. I will never ask someone to lay low in my life or not be my friend because someone that I am dating, or going to date, isn’t comfortable with my friendship with you. I don’t care if you are an ex or just a friend or someone I had a one night stand with. There are two of them on my Facebook page now and I have no intentions of getting rid of them. If you can’t trust me then we have nothing to begin with.
  3. Never again will I defend myself to someone over and over. I am who I am and if you don’t like it, hit the road. This is my new motto.
  4. I’ll never apologize for my past, because without it I wouldn’t be here. It is part of me, it reminds me when I move in the right direction or the wrong direction. I learn my own lessons, at my own pace, without someone else having to point it out to me.
  5. I will live my life for me. Never again will I conform to what someone else wants me to be, do, think, feel, wear, eat, read, learn, play or see. If someone doesn’t honor me, as I am, and bring positive to my life, then I will leave them behind.
  6. I will never, ever hide who I am ever again. I will never again date someone who cannot happily introduce me to someone as their date, their girlfriend or partner. I’ll never again be a shadow in someone’s life.
  7. I will only date femme women who clearly understand the butch femme dynamic and have done it before, get it and know how to treat a butch woman and honor me for who and what I am.
  8. At the sign of the first red flags, I am going to trust my intuition and walk away. I am going to listen to my gut and stop hanging around too long, expecting a different result from the same situation.


These are just a few of the things that are going to be a part of the new me. I don’t need someone in my life. I’m truly a very happy person alone most of the time. My life is going along really well and even though things are tough right this very moment, I don’t foresee this lasting much longer. Physically, I feel fantastic. Emotionally, I feel stronger than I have in a long time. I’m standing up for me, what is right for me and what I need. It may not be right for others and that’s fine. I honor you and your truth, even if you don’t think I do. As I said before, I think all souls are beautiful and I wish you well on the journey of your soul.

Recently I was questioned why I said I was spiritual and have also said I’m an atheist. I’m going to clarify this while I’m at it today. I do not believe in heaven, hell or God in the sense that Christians believe in those things. I do not need “God” to be spiritual. My thoughts on religion are not good, in all honesty. I subscribe to thoughts more along the line of Taoism or Buddhism. I believe in reincarnation, I believe in a progression of the soul. I believe in learning to be a better person. I know I am not perfect but I honestly really do my best to learn and evolve. I do try to work on my short comings and I try to be a good person overall.

I’ve been called mean by two people in my life. They were both people who made me uncomfortable, insulted me over and over without even realizing that they were doing it, didn’t listen to me when I tried to tell them how I felt, and just generally were people that I should never have had in my life to begin with. The red flags were flapping in the wind and I just kept ignoring them. As a result, I believe that I acted out and really was mean to them. For that I apologize. I should have let you go sooner.

This morning I wrote your name on a balloon and I released it. I watched it fly away, to heights unknown. I honored you as I did this. I released your soul to move on and follow the path that you need to follow. I will not hold you back. I wished you well and I was happy for you. I pray that you’ll have a care free life, that you will find your health again and that you will do what we are meant to do, spread your wings and fly.

Categories: death, equal rights, gay lesbian, lesbian, life lessons, self-help | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Practice Compassion

Tiny Jade taking an innocent nap.

As always, I am a deep and reflective human being. I OFTEN look back at my life and wonder what lessons I was supposed to learn in various situations. I truly hope that I have learned what I was supposed to, along my path. I know I am not perfect, but WHO AM I?

I am a writer, a poet, a lover, a friend who will drop everything to be there if you really need me, someone who stands up and fights against social injustice, I lose sleep over the suffering of others, I allow myself to feel things so deeply that I will openly weep when I just sense someone else’s pain.I am the rescuer of dogs and kittens in need. The photo above is the kitten I rescued just this week from a trap meant for wild animals. She’s just a few weeks old. I need a kitten like I need a hole in my head, but I am still warming formula for her and feeding her, holding her and taking care of her needs. It’s called compassion. At first I called her squeak, because meows sounded like squeaks coming from her tiny body. She is now opening her eyes wide and looking at me with trust. They are beautiful and green and I’ve always considered myself jaded. I’ve decided to call her Jade.

When I love, I love deeply and with everything that I have to give. I fall in love too fast and I am really working on that….but I think my view of love is different than most people’s. Having lost SO many people that I loved and cared for to early death, I just feel that if you feel something strong for someone then you should show it and tell them often….because tomorrow sometimes really never comes. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am not ashamed of that. I bristle when people tell me not to wear my heart on my sleeve. I’d rather fully immerse myself in all the feelings life has to offer than to not feel anything. I’d much rather feel pain than to be numb. I’ve been numb before and I fought hard to feel again.

I am respectful of everyone until you give me a reason not to. I was once someone’s daughter. I am a sister who is not appreciated and I am a human being that is wounded over this fact. I am basically an animal that understands fight or flight – and I have done both at different times in my life. I have a lot of physical scars, but the emotional ones hurt the most. Even in a crowded room I get lonely, I often talk too much, but sometimes I say nothing at all. I can be laughing on the outside and crying on the inside at the same time. I tend to always cheer for the under dogs. I think that children are treasures, though I have none of my own. Being who I am or pretending to be something I wasn’t was the biggest choice in my life I ever made. I did not choose to be gay.

I have come to realize that there is something about my personality that attracts people to me and I take this as a very serious responsibility. People talk to me and tell me that I make them feel at ease. People tell me all the time that they can trust me and feel safe with me. I truly try to be careful with people’s feelings and I don’t ever set out to hurt someone, but I’ve come to learn that sometimes you hurt people, even when you don’t mean to. I feel extreme responsibility for how my life affects the lives of others. I often can tell what someone is thinking or feeling and generally know what they aren’t telling me, as well. I’ve worked hard to learn how our lives are interconnected. I understand karma and the cycle of life. I don’t fear death anymore. I used to suffocate in that fear. I would lay in bed and be obsessed with death and be afraid. When both my parents died at the age of 58, I was quite sure that I’d die then too. It took YEARS to get beyond that fear.
I often “think” too much. My mind never shuts off. I write things that sometimes make no sense, just to get the jumbled pile of thoughts out of my brain. I often know myself better afterwards. I wish more people would write. I think the world would be a better place if people could get to the core of who they are, or at least make the effort. It worries me that so many people have no interest in real growth. Spiritual growth is the only thing that is going to save us all and by that, I don’t mean Christian spirituality…simply an understanding of self and our connection to the world around us.

I like to be called ‘sir’ and it makes me chuckle to myself when the cashier realizes their mistake and then tries to apologize. I’ve also observed that when men realize the mistake that they pretend it didn’t happen and never apologize. They also never look me in the eye again. Women ALWAYS notice when I SPEAK and then they always apologize. I find this to be an interesting social experiment. Why do men not apologize? Do they GET that I LIKE the sir thing? Are they just incapable of apologizing? Are they embarrassed and uncomfortable? I’m guessing the latter.

I prefer being referred to as “handsome” and if you call me ‘pretty’ I feel awkward and don’t know where to put that exactly. I have never felt like a girl, but I have zero interest in transitioning to male. I accept my feminine side and I even hug her once in awhile. ; )

I find it very frustrating that the women I like don’t ever like me as much as I like them, and the women that I am not interested in chase me. I confess that I really just want to curl-up in a fetal position and cry a lot of the time. I’d rather have someone to hold me right this minute than have sex with someone. Do not misunderstand…I am a very sexual being. I quite enjoy it! However, it can be easily had. I don’t have anyone I can call to just come over and hold me, but I have three women that I can call right now and have them come over for sex. I find this fact gravely sad. Real intimacy has nothing to do with sex and it took me many years to figure that out. Knowing this and understanding this leaves me feeling empty a lot of the time. Most people are afraid of REAL intimacy. My friends tell me that I am too picky. I don’t think I am….I want intimacy, I want love that is unconditional, I want passion, someone fiercely independent and intelligent. She’s out there….and she loves me…she just doesn’t know it yet. : )

I realize that I still have a LOT to learn and I hope that I will continue to do so until the day I drop dead. I have a natural curiousity about life, people and the world around me. Life is about evolving, changing, learning and growing. If you don’t do that, and allow yourself to dream, then you just aren’t experiencing life!

Today I challenge each and every person who reads this to do ONE thing that you normally wouldn’t do. Practice forgiveness and compassion in your life. Step outside your box, try something new. Rescue a dog, puppy, cat or kitten. Speak to an elderly person. Say something you wouldn’t normally say to someone or take the time to write how you honestly feel about something. Let someone know that you love them truly and deeply, for life is short. Don’t wait for the time to be “right” or for your story to be “perfect”. Tell it while you can. So many need to hear it, even if they don’t know that yet.

Categories: equal rights, gay lesbian, lesbian, life lessons, self-help | Tags: , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Thank You Femmes – From A Butch

I am he, who walks among you – camouflaged as she.

I am strong in appearance yet vulnerable to my core.

Some look and yet they still fail to ever really see me.

Yes, I’m gay – but I am extraordinarily so much more.


Please, ladies don’t expect me to always be so strong,

Let my weaknesses endear me lovingly into your heart

For I have searched this world for you for so very long.

For a place where I wouldn’t always feel so pulled apart.


The world reminds me daily that to them I’m not the same

Will you be my blanket and my warm safe place to be?

Hold me to your bosom and gently speak my name

Please, let me know that with you I can always be just me.


My world has been a battle from which I’ve been so bruised

My spirit may have been scarred but is has not been broken.

The world has chewed me up and left me feeling abused,

Woman, look into my soul and see all that’s left unspoken


Remind me that in your arms I have truly found my place

Accept me for all my uniqueness which you can truly see

You bring to my world an element of beauty, style and grace

You’ve given me just what I need to truly just be me.

Categories: erotica, gay lesbian, lesbian, life lessons | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Stripped To The Bone

When it comes to living our lives, we surround ourselves with the trivial things for so long that we begin to lose ourselves  and our true purpose in this world. Human beings get caught-up in the need and desire to earn more money, buy more things, rub elbows with all the right people to help us earn more, so we can buy new things – and the circle never ends. This simply becomes life and at some point, normally at about the age of 40, we suddenly look around one day and wonder what the hell happened.

What happened to the childhood wonder? Where did the passion go and why do we feel so little on the inside except empty? Where is my joy and why do I feel cheated? We find ourselves mourning for the child we used to be and the dreams that never became reality.

What dreams have you let go of or simply forgotten because life beat you down, wore you out and pushed you into an alternate reality? I’m reminded of an old joke that my anthropology professor used to tell about playing dirty jokes on chimps. Wanna see something funny? Give a chimp an onion and watch them peel and peel until nothing’s left. Sometimes I feel like that chimp…how much can be peeled away until there’s nothing left?

It’s exhausting. I see your pain. I feel your pain. I express it for all of us. I’m a writer.

I do my best to install a zipper to my very soul and give you access to the zipper. As a human being, I strip myself down to the bone day after day. Every word I write is a little piece of me. Every pain has a root in reality.

I have nothing else to offer you but my pain and the beautiful reality of my suffering. This is a human condition. This is human. This is me. Pain can be beautiful. Pain can be addictive. Pain can be just what saves us, wakes us and moves us. I am pain … let me move you. Let me wash over you and bathe you in my emotion.

“Let me see you stripped down to the bone…let me hear you screaming just for me.”

Categories: life lessons, self-help | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

How Can You Tell If She’s A Lesbian?

I wrote this article a long time ago and it originally appeared on This was for those of you who don’t know how to approach women out in public and are having a hard time meeting women in general. These are some general things to look for when talking with women in public. Good luck meeting the girl of your dreams. I promise you that she’s out there somewhere!

You are in the bookstore and this cute girl stands next to you, browsing at magazines. After a few moments, she strikes up a conversation and you aren’t sure if she is flirting or just being friendly. How can you tell if she’s interested?

#1) Does she make eye contact with you? It’s an added bonus if she looks you in the eye and smiles!

#2) Has she touched your arm or brushed against you at all. If she is trying to get into your space, this could be a possible signal. If you return the gesture and she leans into you, it is a pretty safe bet that she is thinking what you are thinking.

#3) Does she have any tattoos that might give her away? A lot of lesbians will have some sort of ‘pride’ tattoo or other symbol that may give them away. Take a close look, it might be very subtle or it could be a great big rainbow, but you won’t know unless you take a close look.

#4) Does she have any jewelry that might give her away at all? A rainbow ring, necklace, a labrys is an older symbol of empowerment for women and could be a clue as to her sexuality. A ring on the thumb has been known to be an indicator of bisexuality and a ring on the middle finger of the left hand is sometimes worn by lesbians in a committed relationship. Not the traditional wedding ring finger, but the longest digit of the hand is the one to look for.

#5) Does she play with her hair when she talks and smiles at you? This is often the way a very femme woman will flirt. Look for the subtle changes in her face, her expressions and her eyes. The hair flipping, in conjunction with all the above is almost a sure bet that you are being flirted with.

#6) If you get the chance to bring it up in some way, casually mention your “last girlfriend” and wait for her response. If there is no look of shock, no obvious change in her demeanor and she still seems to be flirting with you, then she most likely is.

#7) Mention the name of a local gay club or bar and ask if she has ever been there. If she is familiar and says she has been there, then you are as good as gold, my friend. Ask her out!

#8) If you are the daring sort, and you are somewhere near a coffee shop or drink stand, ask her if she’d like something to drink and offer to get it. If she readily accepts your invitation and sits and talks with you, then most likely she is interested in you as much as you are in her!

#9) During your conversation, place your hand on the small of her back, very casually and direct her towards a door, a chair, anywhere. If she readily moves with you, it is her subconscious allowing you to take control of the situation and points to her desire for you to do so. At that point, you should be confident to ask her for her number so that you can “give her a call sometime”.

#10) Just come right out and ask her if all else fails. She seems interested and you just aren’t sure. The only way you will know is to just come right out and ask. Perhaps you say something sweet like “I really don’t mean to offend you so please, take it as a compliment, but I would love to meet a girl like you and get to know her. Any chance you might give me your phone number and do lunch sometime?” You are giving her a compliment and giving her an out all at the same time. She will tell you if she’s interested by accepting or declining. She might even come right out and say “I thought you’d NEVER ask!”

Good luck with your dating. It isn’t easy to meet quality people, especially out in public. More and more people are turning to online dating, but it certainly is more fun to have that initial spark from across the room and find an excuse to move closer and strike up a conversation. Maybe you will exchange glances and both play hard to get? The relationship dance is a fun one, if you allow yourself to enjoy it. Don’t let your anxiety keep you from having a little fun. Flirting is good for the soul…even if the girl turns out to be straight.

Jesse MacGregor Jones, author of “Butch Sexology” and “Twisted- Flashbacks”.

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Butch Sexology Makes Amazon’s Top Ten in New Erotica Releases!

Please, allow me to be excited this morning, as I found out about an hour ago that my book  “Butch Sexology – Tales From the Erotic Zone” is at number 7  on Amazon’s list for Top Ten New Erotica Releases.  As you can well imagine, I’m more than a little excited about this!

“A compilation of five short fictional stories of butch/femme romance and sex. This book will have the femmes running for their vibrators, the butches stopping to take notes, and everyone else will possibly get the education of a lifetime.”

My first book was released May 25th, 2012


To make things even more special, I just released my newest book within the last 24 hours and I feel that it is actually much better.   “Twisted – Flashbacks”  is about a young lesbian named Sam and is part of the “Twisted” series. The next book is expected to be ready in a month.

Sam represents the best and worst of us all. She’s the product of her past, present and what she sees as her future. Sam is a survivor, a victim and sometimes even a bit of a predator. She’s dark, troubled and on a one-way trip to self-destruction. Haunted by her demons, she struggles to live her life as best she can.

As you get to know Sam, things will come out about her life that are surprising and often times troubling. You will no doubt find yourself loving her and hating her, all at the same time. You may find that things about her remind you of yourself, making her a little harder to swallow at times.

Twisted – Flashbacks is now available on Amazon

I’d like to say thanks to all of you who have read my book(s). I’d like to invite you to join me on my Facebook Fan Page and also to visit my website. Lastly, I’m also asking people to contact InsightOutBooks and ask them to carry my book, now that it has made the best seller’s list on Amazon. Thanks so much for all of your continued support! It really means the world to me.




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